Supporting someone with a life limiting illness

Supporting someone important to you with a life-limiting illness can be both a privilege and one of life’s biggest challenges. Your world can be turned upside down as you are faced with navigating a changed world. When that someone important to you dies, your world can change all over again.

The Metro North Palliative Care Grief and Bereavement Service is here to support you during this life changing experience. We can be there for you and your important person when they are referred to any of the Metro North Health palliative care services and we can be there for you after your person dies.

The goal of our service is to help you, your person, and your family to focus on what matters most and to continue to live meaningful and fulfilling lives, restore a sense of wellbeing, and to facilitate the process of accepting and adapting to the reality of your situation. We provide education, guidance, and psychosocial support.

We also work with individuals and families to identify those who might be particularly vulnerable to prolonged grief and bereavement responses and to recommend additional supports to help navigate this changed world.

When and why might you access our service?

When referred to palliative care

Hearing that someone important to you has received a diagnosis of a life-limiting illness can be very stressful. It can bring up a range of thoughts and feelings and it is normal to experience feelings of anticipatory or pre-loss grief. However, if you notice any of the following it might be helpful to talk with someone:

• thoughts and feelings are becoming too distressing and overwhelming, and they are interfering with your ability to function and manage your day-to-day life demands
• your responses are impacting upon your person’s treatment or their ability to adjust to their illness
• your family is having trouble adjusting to your person’s illness and/or if there are unresolved relationship issues between you, your person, or your family
• you have an existing mental health condition that is worsening because of your changed world.

After the death

The death of someone important to you is one of life’s most pivotal events. Grief impacts our world in many ways and can affect how we think, behave and engage with others. This is all normal and to be expected.

If you notice though, even several months after the death, you are experiencing a persistent and overwhelming grief response, most days and characterised by any of the following, we can help:

• intense yearning/longing for the person who died.
• difficulties doing the things you normally do because you are thinking so much about the person who died.
• confusion about your role in life or feeling like you don’t know who you are anymore (i.e., feeling like a part of you has died).
• trouble believing that the person who died is really gone.
• avoidance of reminders that the person who died is really gone.
• feelings of emotional pain (e.g., anger, bitterness, sorrow) related to the death.
• difficulties re-engaging in life (e.g., problems engaging with friends, pursuing interests, planning for the future).
• feeling emotionally numb or detached from others.
• feeling that life is meaningless without the person who died.
• feeling alone or lonely without the person who died.

If the presence of these grief responses above has caused significant interference with your ability to function and manage your life demands, it might be helpful to talk with someone.

How to refer

To access the Metro North Grief and Bereavement Service, call 07 3049 5733.