The death of someone important to you is one of life’s most pivotal events. It is normal and natural to experience grief following their death. Grief impacts our world in many ways including how we feel, think, behave and engage with the world. This is all normal and to be expected. How people react will be different for each person.
After the death of someone important to us, there are many arrangements to be made. Trying to plan at a time when you are likely feeling intense grief can feel overwhelming. To help with this feeling of overwhelm, and to ensure you prioritise your well-being, give yourself the gift of time. Take time to process what has happened, to sleep, to eat something, to stay hydrated, to have a shower, to talk with your supporters.
It can help to ask those around you for grace as you give yourself time to process what has just happened. Some have suggested it helps to nominate a contact person in your place to field any calls, questions, well wishes, and monitor your social media accounts, until you feel ready to navigate these yourself.
What can help
When caring for yourself during acute grief consider the tips below and identify what might be most helpful for you.
- Acknowledge your reactions, don’t try to suppress how you are feeling or ignore what you are thinking.
- Seek support and connection from trusted family, friends, colleagues, and those in your community. Allow people to help.
- Ensure you are getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, and staying hydrated.
- Exercise and gentle physical activity can help manage stress, release pent-up energy, and improve mood.
- Relaxation strategies including meditation, deep breathing, massage, or listening to calming music can help manage anxiety and emotional overwhelm.
- Write down, or draw, your thoughts, and feelings.
- Engage in activities that bring you comfort and pleasure, eg.,watching a movie or listening to music. Don’t feel you must grieve all the time.
- Set realistic expectations for yourself by understanding that grief is a process that takes time, and not something to ‘get over’.
- Let people know what you need, whether that is space, company, a listening ear, distraction etc.
- Avoid making major life decisions too soon.
- Draw on religious and spiritual beliefs if this is helpful.