Considering your legacy
Those with a life-limiting illness have an opportunity to reflect on their life, creating a legacy for the future. Some people may find it helpful to engage in legacy-related activities. These activities are not for everyone, it is your choice how much or little you engage with these suggestions. Take your time and do what feels right for you.
Final words
There are a variety of ways you can leave special message for those important to you.
- write a letter, record a voice note or video.
- create photo albums or keepsakes.
- write cards or arrange gifts for future birthdays or significant events.
- share your favourite recipe – even record a video of yourself cooking it.
- make a playlist of your favourite songs and why they sing to you.
- Put aside copies of your top 10 favourite books with a message about why you love them.
These messages and keepsakes can be drawn upon by your loved ones during the grieving process and later in life when guidance might be needed. Remember though, grief is unique to everyone, and whilst those left behind may welcome communications from you after you have died, others may not. How they feel about after-death communications may also change over time for them.
Knowing what to say or what you want to express to others can be difficult. Palliative specialist and author of the book ‘With the End in Mind: How to Live and Die Well’ Dr Kathryn Mannix, offers some prompts for things you may wish to convey to those important to you:
- I want you to know that I have always appreciated…
- What I particularly love about you is…
- I hope you have forgiven me for…
- Please don’t worry about….
- When you think about me, I hope you will remember….
- For your future, my wish for you is….
- Thank you for being such an important part of my life.
Writing your own eulogy
Traditionally when we die, friends, family and/or clergy eulogise us. The eulogy is used to reflect on our accomplishments, the love we have shared, and life events that mattered most to us. Who better to describe these things than you! Writing your own eulogy is a great way to reflect on your legacy and is a wonderful gift for those left behind.
Share your story
The article 100 Questions to Ask Your Grandparents provides a great reflection activity as well as a legacy gift for those left behind. There are questions to help provide valuable insights into the foundations that shaped your life, how you navigated life’s challenges, your regrets, joys and what you have learned along the way.
Before I die, I want to…Last Wishes / Bucket List
As people move toward end of life it is natural to focus on how they would like to spend their limited time and to consider what they want to do before they die. To conceive a bucket list or to have a special wish granted can be important milestones to help prepare for anticipated death. Common themes people consider as they contemplate their final wishes include:
- Travel
- Activities and experiences
- Quality of life
- Being with family and friends
- Dying comfortably
- Taking care of final matters
Ambulance Wish Queensland
Ambulance Wish Queensland
, a Palliative Care Qld program, offers Queenslanders living with a life-limiting condition access to the planning, coordination, specialist transport and clinical care they need to fulfil their last wish and create memories forever. They have supported people to attend football matches and other events, visit their favourite location, to have family photos taken or simply to go home one last time. If you have a wish you would like to fulfil, check out the Ambulance Wish Queensland site to see if you are eligible.