How to: Be Patient

What does this look like?

Patient managers:

• are tolerant with people and processes
• make sure they understand other points of view and relevant information before making decisions
• don’t go ahead of people
• follow established procedures and processes.

How can I do this?

1.    Be aware of impatient behaviours

• You’re acting impatiently if you:
  • interrupt
  • finish others’ sentences
  • ask people to hurry
  • ask people to ‘cut corners’ or skip steps
  • urge people to finish and get to the point.
• These behaviours can frustrate, intimidate, devalue and demotivate people. They can also hamper effective communication and damage relationships. Avoid them if you can.
• If you tend to interrupt or cut people off, try adding five seconds to your average response time.
• Learn to pause and to give people a second chance.
• Take time to ask clarifying questions and acknowledge other points of view.

2.    Watch your non-verbal cues

• Try not to show your impatience with non-verbal cues. like:
  • frowning
  • body shifting
  • drumming your fingers or pen
  • checking the time
• You may not know that you send impatient signals. If you’re not sure, ask someone you trust to tell you.
• When you’re feeling impatient, take a moment to think about how your body language might be giving you away and adjust.

3.    Keep calm

When you’ve lost patience, it’s easy to lose your composure. Find strategies that help you calm down like:

• deep breathing
• asking to continue a conversation at a later time so you can take some time out
• asking questions that will help you understand where a person’s coming from.

It’s important that managers are composed and always communicate with respect, in line with Metro North Health values and the Code of Conduct for the Queensland Public Service. For more ideas on keeping your composure, refer to the composure micro-skill.

4.    Know your triggers

Some behaviours or events will frustrate you more than others. Be aware of your triggers so you can work on handling them patiently.

If you find yourself getting impatient with particular people you can try:

• focusing on the behaviour not the person
• understanding their viewpoint without judging them—ask clarifying questions if you need to and summarise what they say to check you’ve understood them
• mentally rehearsing calming strategies before meeting with them
• focusing on issues or problems when you talk to them.

When someone’s inefficiency frustrates you, try to gently and respectfully encourage them to be more efficient in future. Discuss how they might do this.

If you lose patience during a meeting, after it’s over, reflect on what was discussed and how you felt or reacted. What could you have done differently? Acknowledge when you handled something well.

5.    Try not to be arrogant

• It’s inevitable that people in your team will have different ways of doing things and their own unique strengths. Be patient with others and value their contributions. Your way is not always the best way nor the only way.
• Always try to listen and understand where others are coming from. You may not accept everything they say, but at least hear and understand them before you comment or make a decision.
• Instead of focusing only on what you think or want, also focus on what others say and need.

6.    Be open and approachable

• When people talk to you about an issue, try to suspend your own judgment.
• Don’t interrupt.
• Acknowledge that you understand.
• Create a safe space for people to approach you.

7.    Take time when working with your team

• Take the time to define problems.
• Brainstorm what questions need to be answered in order to resolve it.
• Avoiding jumping to answers, conclusions, and solutions too early in the process.
• Explain your thinking processes and how you arrive at solutions.
• Give others the chance to think of solutions. This develops their skills and empowers the team.
• Set realistic timeframes for people.

8.    Allow people time and space to complete tasks

• When you delegate a task or assign a project, set a schedule for checking on progress.
• Don’t check in unnecessarily though. Give your team space.
• Be clear about what you want done but allow people some freedom in how it’s done.

9.    Let others develop solutions

• Give your team an opportunity to examine an issue or answer a question before jumping in with answers or solutions.
• Genuinely consider others’ solutions.
• Invite a constructive discussion.
• If some ideas don’t work, see this as an opportunity for growth.
• Ask people to come up with a second or third solution if required. Provide appropriate support.

10.  Invest in others

• Invest time in developing your staff.
• Coach your team and show them how to work effectively and efficiently.

You may find this challenging if you…

• have unrealistic expectations
• like things done quickly and efficiently all of the time
• tend to jump to conclusions without thinking things through
• know more than others on a given topic
• don’t like following processes or grappling with complex problems
• don’t understand other people
• don’t take time to listen or to understand others.

You’re being too patient when you…

• wait too long to act
• try to please everyone
• lead people to think you’ve accepted their position because you listened without responding appropriately
• procrastinate because there isn’t a clear solution
• let problems fester without acting.

Feedback to: DevelopingYou@health.qld.gov.au