How to: Demonstrate Confidence

What does this look like?

Managers who successfully demonstrate confidence are perceived as:

• Calm
• Capable
• Reliable
• In control
• Reliable and able to deliver
• Comfortable in their role
• Not being afraid of feedback or criticism
• Being able to ask for help without fear
• Being able to take a stand
• Good listeners
• Taking the initiative

How can I do this?

1. Stand tall.

Stand tall. Keep your shoulders back. Keep your spine straight. This will enable you to breath more effectively. It will give better back support and it’s going to make you look and feel more confident. People who slouch or minimise their bodies tend to be viewed as unconfident or uncertain.

You can also practice the “power pose” technique before you enter the room by stretching your arms far above your head or putting your hands on your hips with your elbows wide. These “power poses” increase confidence, but might not be appropriate during your event, so keep them as a pre-event ritual.

2. Make eye contact.

Eye contact is crucial for increasing your perceived confidence. Without eye contact you’ll appear scattered or inattentive. When you speak, look at your recipient’s eyes. If you’re in front of many people, alternate between them and give each person a few seconds of eye contact. Even in a crowd, you should be making eye contact with the various individuals in your audience.

It’s also important to maintain eye contact when the other person is speaking. The more you break eye contact or look around, the more indecisive or shy you’ll seem. Be careful to not overdo it. Don’t stare people down. Take occasional breaks. Also be culturally sensitive. If someone is uncomfortable with eye contact, then break contact.

3. Don’t fidget.

Fidgeting often shows low confidence. Even if you feel confident, fidgeting can undermine your message and effectiveness. Most people fidget and don’t know it. Different people fidget in different ways; for example, some people have a nervous leg-jiggling habit and others tend to wave their hands around in a flailing motion when they talk. You might also find yourself adjusting your standing position or nodding excessively.

Try to stand still and only move in an appropriate, deliberate way. This can be difficult, especially if you aren’t conscious of your fidgeting habits. Practice speaking with someone you know and ask them to identify any quirks you may not notice about yourself.

4. Speak slowly and clearly.

Speaking too quickly, or too quietly , can make you appear less than confident. If you speak slowly and clearly you are less vulnerable to saying things you don’t mean or slipping up with verbal nonsense.

Take your time with your sentences. It will give you time to come up with better word choices and will make you seem more confident at the same time. Sometimes the best thing to say is second or third thing you think of rather than your first.

Practice articulating your words clearly and in a loud voice, so you’re used to the approach.

5. Be comfortable with silence

There’s nothing wrong with short periods of silence. Silence can be a useful and necessary social tool. Use silences to your advantage; you can end an important sentence with a long pause to let it sink in. You can allow a beat in the conversation between the other person speaking and you speaking to show that you really listened.

Silences allow for consideration, and they show that you’re confident in your speaking abilities. Don’t neglect them.

During silent pauses use your body language to make sure others know you are listening. Avoid body language that may indicate impatience or lack of respect e.g. foot tapping or looking around the room.

6. Keep your hands visible.

Your hands say a lot about you. Keep them visible and marginally active in the conversation. For example, you can use a few deliberate actions with your words. Be careful not to over gesture or fidget.

If appropriate you can use your hands to offer occasional moments of touch. Be careful doing so. Touch is not always appropriate – especially in the workplace.

It’s important to not to hide your hands by stuffing them in your pockets or folding your arms. Keep them visible to appear more confident.

7. The way you move.

Take measured steady steps when you enter, exit, or move around in a room. Take wide, surefooted steps with every move. Avoid quick, hurried, or frantic steps.

Don’t be in a hurry to get anywhere and remember to keep your body posture aligned. This slow, deliberate series of movements will make you appear confident, so much so that people several yards away from you will be able to pick up on it.

When walking, keep your shoulders down, neck long, and walk with purpose. Keep good posture, always. Shoulders down. Neck long. Head and spine in alignment.

Try to walk in a straight line. Don’t bump into people but try to keep your purpose and direction intact. Just look and walk straight ahead. If you bump into people just look at them warmly and smile a little, then give way.

You may find this challenging if you…

• Avoid taking risks
• Do not practice
• Don’t say no
• Avoid eye contact
• Worry about what other people will say
• Give in too easily

You may not be demonstrating confidence effectively if you are…

• Not allowing others to be confident
• Not sharing control and power with others
• Dominating a situation
• Not listening to others