How to: Support an Employee Who is Bereaved and Grieving

What does this look like?

This micro skill involves:

• showing empathy
• providing support
• creating a compassionate work environment
• demonstrating genuine care, compassion and understanding towards the employee’s situation.
• recognizing the employee’s emotional state, wants and needs
• offering flexibility
• maintaining open communication.

How can I do this?

1.   Acknowledge the Loss

Express condolences and acknowledge the employee’s loss in a sincere and respectful manner. A manager might say, “I’m so sorry for your loss. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to support you during this time.” Acknowledging the loss may also include informing others in the workplace about the loss with the employee’s permission. Be aware that special dates such as birthdays and the anniversary of the death may impact on the bereaved.

2.   Recognition

Recognise that the loss may have a significant impact on the employee in terms of their performance and behaviours. Demonstrate a willingness to approach the employee rather than avoid them on the topic of loss. Offer simple acts that acknowledge the employee is grieving and has experienced a significant life event. Recognise the valuable role of workplace support and the workplace in navigating grief.

3.   Flexibility and Accommodation

Adjust work expectations and schedules to accommodate the employee’s needs. This may include allowing the employee to take time off, work from home, or adjust their hours as needed to help them manage the combined stress of work and grief.

4.   Regular Check-Ins

Proactively and regularly check in with the employee to see how they are doing and if they need further support. It helps to schedule regular, informal meetings to ask, “How are you doing? Is there anything you need from me or the team?”. Wants and needs may change over time so check in-regularly and over time.

5.   Active Listening

Being present and attentive when the employee wants to talk about their feelings or needs. Setting aside time for a private conversation and listening without interrupting or offering unsolicited advice. Show empathy and understanding without trying to offer solutions.

6.   Providing Information and Resources

Provide information about leave policies. Offer information about support services available to the employee. Share details about the employee assistance program (EAP), Staff Psychology services and the broader staff wellbeing support network.

A manager may find this challenging if…

• Personal Experience of Grief: If the manager has their own experience of grief and bereavement, supporting others may trigger their own grief response, making it emotionally challenging to provide support.
• Lack of Experience: If the manager has not dealt with bereavement in the workplace before, they may feel unsure about how to approach the situation.
• Emotional Discomfort: Discussing grief and loss can be uncomfortable, and managers may fear saying the wrong thing.
• Balancing Work and Support: Managers might struggle to balance providing support with ensuring work responsibilities are met.
• Cultural Differences: Different cultural backgrounds may influence how grief is expressed and managed, making it challenging to respond appropriately.

You may not be demonstrating appropriate grief and bereavement support if you…

• Avoid the Topic: Ignoring the employee’s loss or avoiding the topic can make the employee feel isolated and unsupported.
• Offer Clichés: Avoid using clichés or platitudes like “time heals all wounds” as they can feel dismissive and undermine the significance of the loss.
• Pressure to Return to Normal: Do not pressure the employee to return to their normal productivity levels too quickly. Show patience and understanding that grieving is a personal process that takes time.
• Make Assumptions: Do not assume you know how the employee feels or what they need. Each person’s experience with grief is unique.